The Fine Art of Blending Life, Love and Veggies

I can just hear a couple of folks wondering out loud, "Oh my, she's writing about blending now! That's it, she's flipped her lid!"  No, not really - just a little wishful day dreaming about being able to appreciate our differences, but meld our humanity.


Anyone who really knows me, I mean really knows me, knows that I have a great admiration for the finer things in life. While I don't mean some high-fa-luting designer label on the backside of my jeans, I do mean quality over quantity. 


Back up. If you really know me, you know I don't wear jeans. Sorry about that. Let's go with the shoe analogy. Take for example the Christian Louboutin red-soled high heels of Oprah fame. We're talking four inch plus stilettos - super sexy - but unless they come with two gorgeous gay guys to hold me up, an oil man's 401K and a Senator's health plan, forget about it. Give me my Birkenstocks - which, by the way is the gold standard for sandals and if made 2010 years ago, we all know who would have been sporting a pair.


Last week, while wasting my time on Facebook, I got caught up in reading the posting from my online source of vitamins and health foods. This company posted what sounded like a great recipe for pork in a cilantro-lime sauce. Well, sure enough, in great big ol' CAPS, the first post was something to the order of "DON'T EAT PIGS!!!!!!!!!" followed by another cry denouncing meat-eaters, and yet another.  You know me, I had to respond. I wrote that I didn't think that this was the appropriate forum to vent their anti-carnivorous outlook, and that the recipe had merit. In the words of my late husband, Rob, this fired up a sh*t storm of controversy. The retort was screamed at me in capital letters again, followed by lines of exclamation points and challenged anyone reading it that they believed in America and the freedom of speech, and if I were a vegetarian...yada, yada, yada.  


Damn. Can't we all get along?  The onus was on me to respond. I did so, and asked them to consider the fact that this was the very site where I buy all my plant protein for my one-a-day shakes, and really, couldn't we all just relax and edit or glean what we wanted from a posting without the ramifications of anger and drama? If only Blendtec (I'll get to that reference in a moment) could blend all of our wants and desires together and pour us out a big ol' plate of love.


I already know this blog sounds like a runaway train, but here's my point - let's take the best of who we are, our lives and life's experiences, our lessons learned and those we have yet to master, and just get along. Pollyanna-ish of me? Maybe.  But if anything could do it, it would be my new Blendtec blender - the all powerful, super efficient, veggie-grinding, freshly frozen ice-cream making, instant homemade soup in just 90 seconds, bucket of love machine. The Blendtec. (Sigh.) If there was a peacemaker in a machine - it would be the Blendtec. Of course there are other blenders, and most of them do a really good job. But anything I do, I commit to for the long haul. Give me one great pair of sandals, a killer pair of heels and my Blendtec. Oh yeah,  it's three horsepower of energy muscles this gargantuan task master while it easily creates a silken blend from the toughest greens and hardest fruits. Add a couple cups of ice. No problem. Throw in a carrot chopped in halves. Still, no problem. A whole pig - ah, not so much. However, it can handle whatever you throw at it within reason. If only life were so simple.


Even though the Blendtec nicked my AMEX card for a cool chunk of change - close to $400, mind you - at Costco, I have never appreciated such a workhorse of a machine - it does everything except ... hold on, I'm thinking...walk the dog. 


Imagine this world if we took all of our prejudices, all of our fears and loathing, and put them in the Blendtec on high - I'm guessing the soup button would work. What would pour out from it's giant mouth? L-O-V-E. Yup. It would grind up the anti-gay marriage concerns, pulverize "the world is coming to an end so get a gun and stockpile canned goods" terrors, cream the daylights out of the I'm too fat, too tall and too old - fears and worries, and in the end all you would have is big ol' cup of love.  Get to work Blendtec, the world really needs you. 


Let me just kick off my sandals and barefoot my way over to the kitchen. I think I'll go make a protein drink loaded with kale, spinach and strawberries, some protein powder, ice and my liquid vitamins, and ponder the next generation and how love always prevails.